Thursday, 28 March 2013
DOES SORRY MEAN SORRY?
Should we really speak out when someone we thought could be trusted has hurt us? If they are sorry then that should do shouldn't it?
As a therapist I always believed we should confront when someone has hurt us but as I get older I am not so sure if it helps. I suppose it's possible to think that we are maybe hurting someone every now and again and perhaps they are not saying or maybe just letting it go. I suppose it's all to do with intention, did I intentionally want to hurt someone? No of course not. However if it was intentional then that is different what good would saying sorry be when I intended it.
Normally I am quite an outspoken person and usually speak my mind quite well but I am prone to seeing the other person as right and me as wrong when feelings are involved. Recently someone I thought could be trusted did something that I felt disapointed about and upset, when I asked why she said it was a mistake. A mistake in my book is rectified by an apology then some attempt at putting what ever it is right. However when this mistake occurs a few times then is sorry enough? When it isn't put right even though it has been indicated it would be then what can one do? Does one still see that relationship as worthy?
When someone says they are sorry but then don't rectify the problem or do it again, how can they have been sorry? I am repeatedly telling myself that I expect too much of people, that I must be wrong it's a really deep issue this one one could say it's a therapy issue. I don't want to see them as wrong so therefore it must be me who is.
Maybe being born as wrong has something to do with it. That's a whole new issue for another day.