As a young woman I would comfort myself if confronted with some delicious food by thinking that when I am old, I won't worry about dieting. It won't matter.
Yes! I know! How stupid was that? It must be because I thought being older meant I could let go of dieting forever. Let everything hang out or down which ever way you see it. What a discout of myself, what was I thinking? However as the years have past I have gained steadily, as a young woman I kept my wieght off, dieted and literally starved myself on a regular basis. I would try this and that diet from liquid only to egg and gratefruit. Never tried healthy eating, it didn't occur to me. How strange!
As time past nothing changed and indeed a few years ago I spent twelve weeks on Lipotrim because I had a very special occasion I lost two stone in eight weeks and it was the most horrible experience but somehow I persevered and was happy to wear the special outfit with pride. However I ate my way back out of that outfit and back into my bigger clothes.
Nowadays I recognise the little devil on my shoulder which whispers to me on a regular basis
'What does it matter , you can have what you want, why can't you have that minced pie? You deserve it!
Ha! if I heard anyone else speak to me as that inner voice does I would say
"Are you having a laugh? Leave me alone."
Below an exert from my book 'Dying to Diet' written under the name of June Brereton
Those of us who struggle within the cycle of eating and dieting are aware of the dangers of obesity, yet we continue to eat the wrong kinds of food. We know that obesity can cause heart problems, diabetes, raised cholesterol, circulation and digestive problems and according to the latest research, cancer, just as smoking does. There is a government health warning on cigarettes but does it make much difference to those who really want to smoke? Bad publicity does not deter those who want to use these products, drugs kill and yet those who are addicted continue to use. Does it make any difference to have the information? No, because there is an innate need to self harm. Something drives each person whatever their addiction to do themselves harm. My question is, why? This book explores the reasons and may, I hope give you some insights into what your reasons are for over eating.
In addiction of any kind we seek solace and hope to find it in food, alcohol, drugs and smoking. These cravings take us deeper into a spiralling world of addiction, to a place where emotions and mental torment can be suppressed and denied. By following the addiction one can feel a temporary respite from painful emotions. Satisfying an addiction of any kind puts thinking to sleep, lulls us with a false sense of security, but primarily one has to suffer the push pull of ‘shall I or shan’t I? Of course we see addiction here at its most difficult, no one uses food to that level, or do they?
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